"cazzyodo" (cazzyodo)
03/20/2015 at 16:40 • Filed to: Friends
16
28|
"cazzyodo" (cazzyodo)
03/20/2015 at 16:40 • Filed to: Friends | 16
| 28 |
Repost for the evening crowd...input/feedback would be great.
So I have been sitting on this idea for months, maybe even a full year. There is a girl I know from high school that my girlfriend is friends with. She's a great person but she's been handed one of the worst hands of anyone I am personally acquainted with. I wasn't aware of everything that's happened to her in the past couple years until recently but after hearing it from my girlfriend, I have no idea how this girl maintains the attitude and sheer determination to succeed she has.
From what I gather, this girl grew up with a single mother. She got into school, started going and about midway through got really sick (going temporarily blind even) before going on a steroid treatment. After finally getting better and able to go back to school it turns out that the school wouldn't excuse her from finals due to her illness.
During this time, and really for many years, her mother was in and out of the hospital. When she was going to meet her father, he passed away. A couple years ago, her mother passed away as well, leaving her alone with her cats, one of which recently ran away.
She's working multiple part time jobs. At one time she was going to be promoted as soon as someone ahead of her took a manager position but they couldn't because they wouldn't get their license. She took a job at animal hospital with plans and promises to get vet tech certified. My opinion, from talking with her, is that this place was using her without any real plans to certify her. Then she got bit in the face by a dog while doing a routine grooming. There was all sorts of issues with work insurance and medical bills.
Throughout all this, we've hung out a few times and she's always so great to be around. I picked her up and dropped her off, never out of the way because she's relatively close by and well worth having around and we've talked about cars and such. I was always curious why she didn't drive herself (like I said, I never minded getting her) and it turns out that her car was stolen and she hasn't been able to save up enough to buy a new one.
I would love to get her a car so she can find a better job, go back to school, stop getting taken advantage of and accomplish everything she wants to. This girl deserves a break because if it were me, I would have given up years ago.
What do you guys think of the whole GoFundMe thing? Anyone have experience with a crowd funding page? I was thinking of getting recommendations on cheap and reliable vehicles from the Oppo crowd, checking out the market and then setting a goal to get her money for a car, taxes and insurance for the year (so $5k tops?). Think this would work or catch on? Also, any suggestions for a site, car or anything?
Every opinion counts. Thanks.
Update: For reference, this would be in the Boston area.
Wagon for your time.
Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:10 |
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Corolla.
A nice 2000+ example with fairly low miles can easily be had for $5k, and it's a Toyota Corolla so it will run forever.
In terms of the crowd funding pages I haven't done one myself, but this seems like the exact sort of situation that should be successful.
Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
> Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
03/20/2015 at 12:13 |
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Personally, I loath the Corolla, but I have to second this. Or a Civic from the same period.
Tohru
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:13 |
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What country are you in?
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cazzyodo
> Tohru
03/20/2015 at 12:15 |
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US. Boston area. I should make that clear.
jariten1781
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:16 |
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She took a job at animal hospital with plans and promises to get vet tech certified.
What state are you in? There's only one or two states that allow on-the-job vet-tech training and of all the folks I know who've tried it they get eviscerated on the exam and never get their cert (only 1 passed out of about 20 I know who attempted). Most states require you to go to an accredited school. This can be done with on-site labs or with work experience substituting for the labs.
If she's not doing at least three credits a semester in school then the vet-tech thing probably won't happen.
Source: my wife's a vet tech.
RallyWrench
> Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
03/20/2015 at 12:16 |
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Exactly. Damn near impossible to kill.
thebigbossyboss
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:18 |
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This may sound cold, but if you wanna do something nice for her you go ahead and do that.
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Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
> Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
03/20/2015 at 12:19 |
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My first car was a 2000 Corolla. It was a slow reliable econobox, so pretty much exactly what it presents itself as. lol For an enthusiast it is torture to own/drive, but for anyone who just needs a reliable A to B car it's perfect. Rarely breaks, easy to maintain, and fuel efficient.
Just make sure to change/check the oil and not drive it like a speed racer, otherwise you might spin a rod bearing... Ask me how I know. :P
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cazzyodo
> jariten1781
03/20/2015 at 12:20 |
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Massachusetts.
I may have that part confused, though. I haven't spoken to her about her job in a while and didn't want to ask right now out of the blue.
ZHP Sparky, the 5th
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:21 |
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That's a great thing you're trying to do for your friend! Definitely sounds like she's been through a lot and just had really bad luck - it's amazing how so much in life is determined by things completely out of your control.
My only concern about the GoFundMe deal is how your friend would feel towards it. Do you plan on talking to her/getting her permission for it? The last thing you want to do is make her feel awkward/offended by it as a gesture of "these random strangers felt sorry for you, so here!" which I know is the last thing you're trying to do. I really don't know which way I would go - either do it all completely secretly, get the money and then tell her and pick a car together (and make sure you present the whole deal to her in a positive manner - how all her friends pitched in and wanted to do this for her because of what an inspiration she is to everybody around her, etc.) - or get her outright permission and work on the project together towards a goal she wants to reach. Sometimes just having a friend there to work through a goal with you is all someone wants.
Plus, might be worthwhile getting some input from her, or have your girlfriend or someone else casually find out what she actually needs? Does she want/need a car? Would she be able to handle maintenance and running costs down the road? Would it be more impactful to try helping some other aspect of her life - a scholarship for education, certifications, or something else?
You're trying to do a great thing for your friend, and you certainly should - only thing I can say is just make sure you're helping in a way that she finds beneficial as well and won't feel bad about.
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cazzyodo
> thebigbossyboss
03/20/2015 at 12:21 |
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How is that cold?
And I personally can't...that's what my problem is. If I could, I would have gone out and bought her a car for Christmas. I wanted to. Really did.
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Tohru
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:22 |
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If it passes inspection, here's your car:
http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/cto/491374…
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thebigbossyboss
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:26 |
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That I understand. Maybe do something nice within your price range?! It is a thought.
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cazzyodo
> ZHP Sparky, the 5th
03/20/2015 at 12:27 |
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You raise valid points and my girlfriend and are trying to consider that. Really, we were just chatting and I got sick of saying "I should do something" and posted the idea here. I'm hoping that by at least posting to Oppo I shifted a gear in my mind.
My girlfriend was cautioning against just setting something up because:
1) We don't know the full story and wouldn't want to misrepresent the friend
2) We don't want to embarass her or anything that you highlighted
3) We don't know how she would react
4) We want to be respectful
5) We don't know where to start
I feel like if the groundwork is laid out we would have to talk to her before going through with it. Then, if she is ok with the assistance of strangers and friends we would see how it runs, work together to find a vehicle, have some more mechanically inclined friends do some inspections as well and hopefully get her on her way back up.
My own personal goal is to see her get out of where she is...the complex she lives in is not in a very savory part of her town.
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cazzyodo
> thebigbossyboss
03/20/2015 at 12:29 |
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My disposable income and savings don't lend to such gifts, unfortunately. Then I would be afraid that whatever I could personally afford would be outside the realm of reliability for her.
Still, a thought.
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Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
> Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
03/20/2015 at 12:30 |
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Those are the exact reasons I worded my comment that way.
How do you know? :)
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jariten1781
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:33 |
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Yeah, you've got to go to school in MA. There is no OJT path to a license there. Perhaps if you consider funding you could get her a semester of tuition or something if she's interested. There's numerous accredited on-line schools and I know some folks who have gotten theirs remotely through San Juan College in NM out here on the east coast.
Here's the whole list if you're interested: https://www.avma.org/ProfessionalDe…
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cazzyodo
> jariten1781
03/20/2015 at 12:38 |
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Good info...I'm keeping this for future reference.
I'd love to see what she wants to do and have her succeed. I think the car would give her the ability to stop relying on public transportation (which came to a screeching halt this winter) and be a nice positive change.
DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:38 |
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I'd suggest something like this:
http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/cto/492162…
or this:
http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/4854069998…
The nice thing is, being OBD-I, the check engine light is a simple unplug away from passing visual...
But seriously, I know I'm biased toward old Volvos, but I've only had two breakdowns in nearly 400k of driving them, and the /lowest/ mileage of them had 160k... Once for a broken timing belt I neglected to change, and once for an ignition amplifier, when I left the spare at home...
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cazzyodo
> DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
03/20/2015 at 12:40 |
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My girlfriend would love an old volvo so I have no doubt these would have been suggested eventually haha.
Good input!
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DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 12:45 |
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There's my house from last week, before I sold the Amazon, if that's any indication of my bias...
I'd suggest something like the 740 or the 940 as a solid daily.
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ZHP Sparky, the 5th
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 13:52 |
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This is all clearly coming from a good place in your heart so I'm sure she'll see that.
I think a great place to start would be to just tell your friend that last statement you made about your personal goal - it doesn't need to feel like an insult or a handout - basically you and your girlfriend telling her that she's a great person and someone you consider a good friend - and that you'd like to make it a goal of yours to help her succeed in life, whatever her definition of that may be.
And from there hopefully it'll open enough of a conversation for you to realize what she needs and how you can help, within what she feels comfortable with.
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thebigbossyboss
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 14:08 |
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Well I meant maybe a gift that wasn't a car. But I get what you are saying.
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cazzyodo
> thebigbossyboss
03/20/2015 at 14:37 |
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Ahhhhhh....yeah, I've covered dinner a couple times because I've basically forced her to join us (rather than miss out on dinner out with friends because of money concerns). If I had to guess, I would say she's a proud person...in a good way.
Carl (@stuffcarlsays)
> DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
03/20/2015 at 16:44 |
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+1 for the 940!
jsemerica
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 17:17 |
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I think giving her your car would be very selfless.
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thebigbossyboss
> cazzyodo
03/20/2015 at 18:55 |
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That's good man. I hope you are able to crowd fund her a car.
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cazzyodo
> jsemerica
03/20/2015 at 19:35 |
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If that happens, expect a crowd funding page for me to follow!